The animated movie Toy Story made its debut when my son Ben was 5 years old. We  went to see it, both fell in love with it and I proceeded to buy every character in the film as toys for my son. This summer, shortly before my now 20 year old son jetted off to France for two months of study and travel, we went to see Toy Story 3. I truly enjoyed the film as did Ben and I of course cried.

If you don’t know me you might wonder what in the world I could find to cry about in an animated kids film. I tend to cry easily and often but the tear jerking-breakdown moment for me took place when Andy’s mom surveys his now vacant bedroom, just before he leaves for college. Emotions swept over me like a tidal wave as the scene unfolded,  I relived every second of what that moment of separation felt like. I also marveled at how fast those 15 years flew by for me. If you are in the throes of child rearing and in despair over dirty diapers, projectile vomiting, homework, car pool, bullying and all the rest of it, cheer up, it’s over in the blink of an eye. It’s a relief to have those trying times behind me but it’s also sad in that I’ll never have those experiences again with my own child. Grandchildren are an entirely different affair. I was fully invested in the upbringing of my child. I worried about what kind of man he would become, if he would ever learn to ride a bike, shake hands, initiate conversations with strangers, and navigate the world without me. I’m so proud to say he turned out just fine with a whole lot of help from a large cast of family, friends and my wonderful, patient and understanding husband who became a step-father late in life and excelled at the job.

This summer Ben will turn 21 in Paris, France and I’ll be in Taylors, South Carolina missing him but feeling so proud that he’s having this incredible experience and we were able to make it possible for him. One of the most gratifying parts of raising a child is that you have the ability to fix the things that went wrong in your own life. I dropped out of college in my junior year and I was determined that history would not repeat itself with Ben. God willing, he will graduate from Savannah College of Art and Design in 2011 and with luck and an improved economy find employment. In the mean time, he continues to mature and grow in ways I could only imagine and my husband and I make our own way as empty nesters.  Long ago when Ben was struggling to accept the fact that Alan and I were getting married, I told him that some day he would leave me and I didn’t want to be alone and now that day has come and I’m not.